To my Freshman Friends; When College is Getting Hard…
When I think about trying to explain the intricacies of how and why college became such a challenge for me, the details tend to blur together. That, in and of itself, is encouraging because it points to the fact that trials come and go and what matters and creates impact will last. COVID-19 posed a unique challenge to my personal college journey, as it greatly limited my ability to find community and meet new people in college. If you recently started college or are starting college soon, COVID may not be a major challenge anymore; however, this new season of life is likely to hold its own unique challenges. The first thoughts/ advice that come to mind for soon-to-be college freshmen is this: allow things to go as they go, not as they were planned (by you 😉). Most importantly, invite God into that unknown. By that, I mean, when college becomes frustrating or different, or if it is hard to make friends, or if you are not doing the things you envisioned yourself doing, or your major has to change, or your roommate falls through, do not give up. Take a breath and take inventory.
Taking inventory is evaluating and assessing. In a challenging season of life, a legitimate relationship that relies on the presence of Christ is critical. While God has absolutely redeemed my college journey in a vast number of ways, I think that I could have avoided a great deal of hurt early on, had I relied on God and actually listened to His voice. My particular experience reminds me, time and again, of Jonah’s avoidance and eventual confrontation of the people of Nineveh. Jonah “ran” from the presence of the Lord, choosing to disobey. However, this ended in a painful journey back to the original calling that God had given Jonah. In reality, we are not at the wheel of our destinies. We are active passengers. God will accomplish His plans. But it is so much sweeter to trust in Jesus and to take Him at His word, rather than enduring the consequences of close mindedness and shortsightedness.
Deep down, I knew that God wanted me to trust Him and wait in the hurt. Instead, I chose to transfer schools almost right when my plans started to fall apart. I specifically remember reading Isaiah 30 right before transferring schools. I was absolutely convicted in knowing that I should not run away to what I thought would be easier. (I did it anyways, but I'm still here to tell the tale :) In retrospect, Isaiah 30 has been a sweet picture of my college experience. Just as Isaiah 30:15 says, I too have found salvation in returning and resting in the Lord. I truly believe that God waited expectantly to be gracious and merciful to me (Isaiah 30:18). And I certainly had to learn to wait for Him. Isaiah 30:21-22 says that the renewed people of Jerusalem will receive definitive and good instruction in the way they should go. They will remove idols and false images from their midst and will pursue purity. For myself, this was a learning process rought with trial and error. I would love to tell the younger me that it is ok to fail and rebuild in the pursuit of knowing God and seeking after His will. Do not give up.
The second thing I would tell the freshman struggling to find footing in college is to seek wise counsel (and actually listen to it). In addition to being very convicted by Isaiah 30, I made the mistake of forgoing wise counsel in favor of my own limited understanding. Before I transferred away from my first college, I decided to ask the advice of a trusted mentor. She did not tell me what I wanted to hear. Rather than stepping into maturity in order to hear what she had to say, I dismissed her words and made my own uninformed decision.
Finally, share your struggles with someone trusted. If you have any close friends at your university, bring them into your struggle. This builds connection and will strengthen your friendship and support you in pursuing wisdom. If you have not been able to find a close friend, reach out to a mentor or leader from home/church. This point also highlights the importance of building and maintaining strong, godly connections before you leave for school, start a new season, or embark on a new challenge. If you are not yet in college but are anticipating leaving for school soon, this is certainly an area you can be investing in now. Build close and strong relationships with other young women, older mentors, and quality friends that point you towards truth.
Know that you are not too far gone and you are not ruined if you make a mistake. God pursues you deeply and greatly desires to know your heart. Regardless of any sin/mistake. Please understand that literally no sin is too great for God to heal. (There's a lot of crappy ways we could sin too. God is entirely aware of this point). So no matter where you are; whether you are preparing for college, still in high school, or getting ready to start your career, know that God waits expectantly to provide you with His grace and mercy. Rely on wise counsel around you, and enjoy the fulfillment of good friends.
Lastly, my thoughts here are specific to my own experience as it related to my college journey. As I’ve begun my career and met incredible new people in my town, I recognize that college is not the path that many people take! That is absolutely incredible. I can confidently say that applying deep mentorship and a strong trust in Christ applies to decisions surrounding trade school, career changes, military, enlistment, and absolutely every different direction that your unique walk on this earth can take you.
Know that Christ desires intentional connection, fortification, and deep rest for you. Be so encouraged and enjoy the excitement that new seasons bring!
